I have a good excuse

I haven't written here in ages because frankly I've been on the can. My youngest daughter Max gave the gift that keeps on giving, diarrhea. We all got it. It was horrific. Anyway, it's over now, so now I can go back to focusing on important things.
When filling out medical paperwork, under psychiatric conditions, is it appropriate to write "batshit crazy"? I had to pre-register with the surgery center where I am being spayed later this year, and this question came up. I really, really wanted to type "completely batshit" under that question, just to see if anyone ever mentions it? But then, what if I run for office someday, that is going to come up.
Really though, I was telling a friend why I was vague in a text I had sent her, and I told her the whole "what if I run for office blah blah blah" thing and she reminded me that she has some texts where I have actually threatened to kill her. So I guess there go my chances for 2012. Shit.
Did you hear that KFed is going to be on Celebrity Fit Club? Like who didn't see that coming? I have said from day one that the only reason KFed let himself get fat like that was because he wanted a celebrity endorsement from Nutrisystem or Biggest Loser, Fit Club, etc. Either that, or he really does hate himself. I mean not that he was all that hot to begin with, he looks like a hillbilly, but it takes an awful lot of work to get that fat that fast. And I should know, I'm a 3 ton walrus.
Ok, not really, but it sounds more credible if I say that. Whatever.

I need to go take a shower and pour a strong drink, I just watched Mackenzie Phillips on Oprah and just ewww. And during the whole show, all I could think about was that Wilson Phillips song, you know the one, where they are singing on top of a cliff while wearing mock turtlenecks? My sister used to play that shit incessantly. She probably still has the cd, if you want to borrow it.